by Pam Hussey, MS parent
In early January, Stoneridge hosted Alumni SpeakOut, at which recent graduates shared their reflections on their Stoneridge education and the transition to high school or college. This year, we welcomed three alumni:
> Charlie Harris, Stoneridge ’10, a freshman at Hamilton/Wehnham High School
> Hunter Johnston ’10, a freshman at Pingree School
> Sage Magnant, Stoneridge ’07, a senior at Masconomet High School
Articulate and poised in front of a group, Charlie, Hunter, and Sage delivered thoughtful reflections in response to every question thrown their way. Speaking from their hearts, they demonstrated remarkable maturity, grace, and kindness.
A special thank you to Diana Mathey, who organized and moderated the panel. Diana is Director of the Annual Fund and Parent Relations at the Pingree School. She is an alumni parent, a former Director of Admissions and Development at Stoneridge, and a new Board member. She began the evening with her own reflection:
“I will always be grateful for the education my children received here, for where they have taken those experiences in their lives, and for the people they have become as a result. Stoneridge is one of my favorite places in the world.”
On working with different kinds of people
In the beginning of the evening, the students spoke at length about the distinct advantage they possessed, over their high school peers, in their ability to work with different kinds of people. Due to the smaller number of students at Stoneridge, they had to work with others who were often very different from them. As a result, they became highly skilled at getting along with everyone.
“While I may not like each person I meet, I know how to deal with them.”
“When you are going to be with someone in the same class for years, you learn to work things out.”
At a larger school, they might have chosen to hang out only with peers who were like them. Sage spoke of the different groupings you might find at any school, such as “the sports kids, the girlie girls, and the flower-power group.”
Hunter and Charlie credited their experience on the Negotiators Committee for their current skill at working with all kinds of teachers and students. “It wasn’t always easy” they said, but it definitely honed their social skills.
On finding one's place in a different, larger school
The students reflected the confidence they had acquired during their Stoneridge tenure when responding to questions about leaving a deeply familiar environment and transitioning to a typically larger and completely unfamiliar one. They consistently expressed feeling comfortable taking the initiative--or the first step--in introducing themselves to new people.
“Before Stoneridge I was the short, shy kid. After Stoneridge, I was the short, outgoing kid.”
“Join sports or clubs! I joined a sports team that began over the summer, which meant I knew people the first day of school.”
“It’s easiest to meet new friends right in the beginning, when everyone else doesn’t know anyone either. I went out of my way to be as friendly as possible the first week so that I might be the first person someone knew...”
On managing homework
Taking initiative, asking questions, and figuring out how to get something done became second nature after honing these skills during their years at Stoneridge. This was a common thread that ran throughout the evening. At Stoneridge, homework packages are due within six- to eight-weeks. This is in sharp contrast to typical next-day homework due-dates in high school. By having to be responsible for asking the necessary questions and setting their own due dates along the way, Stoneridge students developed keen time management skills.
“Staying on top of my homework now is easier than staying on top of my homework at Stoneridge”, because of the time-management skills required to complete homework at Stoneridge. Homework now is usually due the next day or the day after that.”
Sage uses these organization skills now to manage her time over the year-long projects due each year at Masconomet High School (freshman design a house for math class). These skills have enabled her to keep on top of the annual project, while still getting her other homework done. This year she is re-designing her parents’ kitchen!
At Stoneridge, Hunter found that he was successful getting most of his work done during school hours. He would go to the quiet room (one of his favorite places here) and be diligent during work time in class. This preference has carried over to Pingree, where he uses many of his free periods during the school day to go to the library.
Diana added that of her four children, the two who attended Stoneridge are the ones she never had to check on to ensure their homework was done. “It was ingrained in them that it was their work, not their mother’s homework. They are totally independent.”
During the second week of high school, Charlie couldn’t find the answers to the homework questions in his reading. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t see them. He asked his dad, who confirmed that the answers were indeed there; Charlie tried again to no avail. Finally, his dad said that Charlie was reading between the lines. Sure enough, the answers were literally stated exactly in the questions. Being unaccustomed to having answers handed to him, Charlie had been taught to dig deeper and look for the meaning behind the questions.
On the effects of Stoneridge on confidence
Describing one high school experience after another, the students' confidence in tackling challenges came across loud and clear. This solid base plays a role in the success and happiness they experience in their new environments.
“At Stoneridge, you can’t hide in the back. You are asked what you think and what you believe.”
Sage recalled a situation in high school, when a friend was called names. “That was not O.K. with me,” she stated. She told the name-caller that “No, it is not funny.” She also spoke of helping the quieter students in her classes. Diana commented that those skills, such as empathy for others, are imbedded in a Montessori education.
Charlie, who felt that he hadn’t been particularly strong academically at Stoneridge, felt confident at high school raising his hand, asking questions, and getting extra help. This gave him an advantage over many of the other students, who hadn’t learned how to ask questions and actively seek information. Some of them were moved to a lower class. Due to Charlie’s study skills, hard work, and confidence in getting help, he's been successful.
Hunter noted that he was one of only a few who answered questions in class at the beginning of his freshman year, while Sage credited Stoneridge with her confidence in asking questions--of both peers and teachers--in order to finish her work in high school. When a high school teacher teaches in a way that's not aligned with Sage's learning style, Sage is comfortable advocating for herself.
Feeling comfortable being themselves, these Stoneridge alumni wanted to do their best and didn’t worry about being “student-of-the-month”. As one of the captains of her science team, Sage wanted her team to win. More importantly, however, she “wanted her students to get a taste of what interested them.” This approach seems to be working just fine. Last year they won, and this year they placed second!
A parent's view
As a participant at Alumni SpeakOut, it was clear to me that it wasn’t just what these students said or how they said it: their presence spoke volumes. Sage, a twelfth grader, is in the middle of finishing up college applications. Charlie and Hunter are in the middle of the hectic first week back, after break, during their first year of high school. Despite these demands, their initiative in attending spoke to their gratitude and fond memories for Stoneridge.
My overwhelming feeling, as the session came to a close, was how parents hope that their children will grow up to become like these three remarkable people. I liked them, and all that they stood for, immensely.
